no room in my heart for hate


A few years ago, I discovered that someone had taken some of my stories and posted them as his own. I have had many regrets since then but an unspoken one is I wish I had been mature enough to see beyond what happened, beyond what he did. Instead, I posted screenshot after screenshot of his supposed crime. I wanted him to hurt as much as I was hurting then. His apologies were left unanswered, his attempts to reach out and rebuild unequivocally rebuffed.

I let hatred out of my heart and into the world not fully realizing that it may take days, hours, even years but hate always has a way of coming right back to you.

Recently, it's come to my attention that he has been saying hurtful things about me online - half lies too many to disprove, too pointless to discount. I know a couple of the people egging him on but most were relative strangers to me. They insulted my writing, my work, and even my physical appearance. I couldn't understand how there could be so much hatred out there, and from people I didn't even know.

I have scratched the itch that is hatred for such a large part of my life. And while it is easy to play the victim and fuel the flames of this narrative, today I choose to be different.

I saw this wall of letters in a hotel a few weeks ago and I thought it was interesting how if you extended it to infinity, you could build infinite combinations of letters, words, and sentences. Somewhere in this wall are all the things you have wanted to say but couldn't. I could pick out the letters I like - strike back, say mean things, fight fire with fire - but what would that accomplish? What good would that do to either of us?

So instead, I pick out this combination. I forgive you. I release you. I hope you find the courage to move on.

I have. And let me tell you. It feels great.

To quote the brilliant Wachowskis in Sense8, there is simply no room in my heart for hate.

♫: The Beatles | All You Need Is Love - Love Version (2006)

12 comments

  1. Ito ang seryosong halimbawa ng adulting. Magpatawad habang inaatake pa rin ng ibang tao.

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    1. OP: Some people will just never quit. I choose to simply exclude myself from the narrative kesa ano pa gawin ko. haha

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  2. It's a waste of time to even give a tinge of attention to those kind of people... Even karma had gone digital... So, yes, let it go. Let it flow. Just live life in a way that you hurt no one, step on no one, destroy no one.

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    1. Yccos: That's excellent advice! I will do that!

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  3. Ako I keep a Death Note. LOL

    I actually have a list of people I hate from a veeeerry long time ago and have not forgotten their trespasses. I actually keep track of them online.

    >:)

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    1. Seth: A death note! haha I love it!

      And would you by any chance be a Leo? We're notorious for that kind of behavior.

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  4. Replies
    1. Kaymie: Thanks! And welcome to my blog. :)

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  5. I know hate is bad for anyone but you need to limit sometimes what "hate for anyone" and "loving yourself" is. In most cases allowing yourself to hate, helps you become the person you think others dont want to face and you too. "In most cases" lol. Hate but not much. You'll fall on a platform like me who argue with myself always between what should i act, do i need to act to what society wants? - for the truth is were on a nutshell of skeptical people or do i need to act as what i like - but that would sound like 'selfishness'.

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    1. Kit: I agree that sometimes hate can push you to do things that will help you become better in the end. But I'm just exhausted, tbh. I don't feel like it's gonna help me be a better person.

      But if you think about it, this post may be seen as a passive aggressive way of fighting back. haha

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