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happy new tears

Confusion. It starts like a tickle in your throat. You clear it, hope it goes away but it comes back, even stronger than before. I couldn’t shake it. It followed me around all day. A question – are you cheating on me? I get home close to midnight and you’re not here. I send out a three-word SOS. Where are you? No response. My phone says the message was delivered. But was it really?  I wash off the day’s stresses and for a second, the warm water on my skin soothes me. A song comes on the radio, something about a lover’s lying eyes and without me meaning to, the thoughts have returned. It’s late and I don’t know where you are or what you’re doing. I… don’t know… who you’re with. I keep it at bay. No. I push it away. I turn away so I don’t see it. But here it is. Here she comes. The question – are you cheating on me?  You’re probably working. You probably forgot to have dinner again and stopped by a fastfood joint for a quick bite. Maybe you’re out with your friends – you barely see t

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