Thursday, September 22, 2016

on strength


We come up the stairs to my room, the silence thick and heavy above our heads. He takes his coat off and puts his bag on the bed. I hear his hesitation as he unzips his trousers. I walk over to the window and draw the curtains to let in some light.

“You’ve got a view,” he says. “You never mentioned that.”

“Well, it’s nothing to write home about,” I tell him. “At night, the buses keep me awake.”

“Maybe you don’t think it’s beautiful because you’re so used to it. But someone who’s seeing it for the first time would beg to disagree.”

“It’s just the city, just traffic. Just a bunch of people trying to get somewhere. It can get a little lonely in here.”

“I think there’s beauty in lonely,” he says. “You just have to be at the right place and at the right time to see it.” I turn around to see he wasn’t looking out the window. He was looking at me.

He comes towards me and puts his arms around my waist. He rests his chin on my shoulder and I feel his warm breath on my skin. We are still just like that for a long time, two strangers coming together watching the city unravel.

Beyond the buses honking and the sound of people all trying to get somewhere, I could hear a dull thumping from the middle of my chest. I close my eyes and in my mind’s eye, I see my tired heart. Glue stains and pieces of tape covering cracks and scars, it slurs from its slumber. I feel its gears whirring slowly but furiously. For the first time in months, it begins to light up and beat again.

I didn’t know I had it in me. I didn’t know it had any fight left. Maybe I just don’t know my own strength.

♫: Carly Rae Jepsen | The One (2016)

11 comments:

  1. I often say that people underestimate me and they don't give me credit for what I deserve. But in reality, it is I that does that first to myself and people just follow suit. I think, we all put ourselves a notch lower when it comes to things we can withstand. I hope that this is a sign of all things positive Sir. I pray for you at night too. :)

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    1. D: I sincerely hope for the same thing. Thank you for the prayers. I feel very Alma Moreno right now. Haha now to gather strength from within, therein lies the real challenge.

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  2. ...and who was it who said that is only after you are destroyed can the indestructible (invincible? Ahhh, but my faulty memory.) be found in you?

    Hope is eternal. And this stranger is fortunate to have found you. Stay happy.

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    1. YARG: This stranger has hit the highway as of press time but he served his purpose, methinks. Yes, hope is eternal but the heart to decipher it isn't. Indestructible? It's also a Robyn song I have had on loop for 2 months. :x

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  3. "“I think there’s beauty in lonely,” he says. “You just have to be at the right place and at the right time to see it.” I turn around to see he wasn’t looking out the window. He was looking at me."

    I really like this part. :)

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    1. Mugen: That's actually the scene that triggered this story! :)

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    2. I think this is everyone's favourite part. :)

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  4. haaay. this triggered a lot of pent up emotions in me. i hope i would be able to find the beauty in lonely.

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  5. “Maybe you don’t think it’s beautiful because you’re so used to it. But someone who’s seeing it for the first time would beg to disagree.”

    I totally agree with this. And you're right, sometimes, there's beauty in loneliness. I love this post :)

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  6. Uy, hindi ito malungkot ngayon a. Ang kwentong ito ay sweet at erotic. Hahahaha :)

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  7. There is beauty in loneliness. But like a cocoon, something great shall emerge out of it.

    Glad yours seem to have come.

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