Monday, September 24, 2012

denial

i fear not for what we have become.
this heart beats not for you.
i fear not for we are nothing.

i do not see myself
growing more and more
in your art, in your life.
you find me not in your hands.

i do not see you in me,
not in the words that i speak
or the music in my ears.

you are not in every thought.
so i fear not.

♫: Portishead | Glory Box (1994)

32 comments:

  1. that moment you feel that you're finally falling for that person. love it. welcome back too :D

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    1. Hustin: Mismo! hehe I wrote this back in October. Nakakatuwa lang to see how much can change in almost a year.

      Salamat for dropping by and for welcoming me back! :) Di ako sanay na nakikita ka dito! Sa Twitter lang tayo madalas magkita eh. hehe :)

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  2. I saw this on reader and I was like, am i still dreaming? Nyl has a post? Haha. But it is true, and I am giddy about it. I remember this conversation we have at moon leaf, how this person see you before and if ever I am allowed to talk about that, hahaha. Hence, I will not go into the details.

    Hustin is correct.

    And, you know how happy I am for you, for the two of you, rather. :D

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    1. LJ: Salamat, friend! Uy, angas ng profile picture ah. At sorry, medyo hazy and memory ko. Anong conversation sa Moonleaf?

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    2. I already answered this. Rated SPG. :D

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    3. LJ: Magagalit si Carmina at Zoren! haha

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  3. glad to see you're back. i missed you, nyl. :)

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    1. Aris: And I missed all of you too! Grabe, ilang buwan din pala ako nawala. haha

      I recall reading some comments sa blog ni Joms about how difficult it is to sustain yung pagu-update after some time. I meant to tell you, oo. Iba na talaga ngayon. Siguro nahirapan lang ako mag-adjust. hehe

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  4. Replies
    1. LOF: Mmmmmhmm again? haha I must backread to recall what you mean by that. But then again, I remember what you told me when you first read this. haha

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  5. Replies
    1. Rudeboy: Balon, balon, balon... haha

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    2. Ho ho ho you're soooooo funny, Sadako.

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    3. Rudeboy: Is this a manifestation of you missing me? lolz See, I did good on our email exchange. Told you I'd be back. :p

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    4. At the risk of stating the obvious, everyone's happy you're back.

      Myself included, natch.

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    5. Rudeboy: Lakas maka-bagets ng natch ha. In fairness. lolz

      Well, I'm happy to be back too. :) It's been too long since I last updated.

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    6. See, Nyl, that's why you feel old, you grumpy young man.

      You're only as old as you're willing to sacrifice infants to Bazgul every full moon.

      WV: 20 ityPEDO

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    7. Rudeboy: So that's your secret. lolz Adik ka.

      It just occurred to me that in 10 years, the boy (or buoy, in my case) in our Blogger names will seem more like a joke than a curse. haha

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  6. I love the duality. Welcome back Nyl :) Sana tuloy tuloy na to.

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    1. Rei: haha you know how I love duality. :p Thanks, Rei! Sana nga. :)

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    2. I'll be expecting more posts Nyl :P

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    3. Rei: May expectation na talaga? Shetttttt!!! haha

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  7. nyl!!! weebee!!! so when's our coffeedate? lol

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    1. Nate: Salamat! :) Oo nga, parating napopostpone. Balita ko may grand eeebee daw kayo nitong weekend. haha Kayo na ang mga QC girls. jejeje

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  8. It's great to see you back! I liked this piece :)

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    1. Beliza: Thanks for dropping by! I am so relieved to be writing again. haha :)

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  9. So happy you're posting again! :)) And that piece--well I know from experience how torturous that feels.

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    1. RZ: Ooh! A familiar face! hehe :)

      Yes, I remember how it felt to write this down. It's such a troubling mix of excitement and disappointment. Pero I guess it's all part of the process (?) haha

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  10. nagbusy-busyhan ako for awhile. tinapos ko lahat ng requirement for my application - permanent residency natapos na din sa wakas ready for submission this friday...

    im glad you are back... yay!..

    JJRod'z

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    1. JJ: Oh wow! Di lang pala ako ang nawala ng matagal. hehe Glad you're back too! :)

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  11. Replies
    1. Carlo: ooh you really are back! :) I'm glad this made you smile. I know a lot of my posts elicit a different reaction. Hehe

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