Wednesday, April 14, 2010


Three weeks ago, an odd thing happened. There was a massive traffic jam about three blocks deep. The streets were lined with cars and people with nothing better to do. Word on the street was a man died. An accidental drowning or something. The whole street was covered in water coming from a clogged manhole. The usi in me decided to stick around as they pulled him out from inside the hole.

In the crowd, I saw my mom standing beside a neighbor. They were both in their house dresses looking sleepy and curious. I smiled at her but she must not have seen me for she kept talking to Malou as though two weeks ago, they did not fight over a dying orchid.

It took an awful lot of pulling but soon, a man wearing goggles and a flashlight on his head emerged from the hole. The rope was fastened to his waist but his hands were anything but free. He carried a young man in an odd angle and I remember thinking if he were still alive, he’d probably have a lot of broken bones. His shirt was a little tattered and his pants looked really dirty. I zeroed in on the boy’s face and I felt a million thunderbolts rushing through my body.

He held my lifeless body. My arms sagged to the earth, my clothing ripped into pieces. My mother called my name in a voice I had never heard her use before. It sounded like sorrow, regret and shame all rolled into one. People were shaking their heads. Some remarked on how I was too young to die. Some wondered how I got down there in the first place. A couple of people looked disappointed as though they expected somebody more important to come out of the hole. Most were pleased it was someone they didn’t know. Something like that should never hit close to home.

I drowned in the city I called home. My precious buoys did not or could not save me. I allowed the lights and sounds to take me over until I was left with no voice, no will, nothing to keep me sane. My mother’s cries grew louder. Soon, my father and sisters arrived. Some men were blocking the way and my father bellowed and cursed them into letting him through. At a distance, I could hear sirens. Everything was so noisy. I covered my ears to block the sound. I stood there looking at a couple of rescue workers attempting CPR. My sister was on her knees beside me, willing me back to life, praying for a miracle.

Three weeks ago, I died. But I learned that I am far bigger than the city or anything it can throw my way. It cannot swallow me whole. May pulso, called out the man. A slow one. A weak one, but a pulse nonetheless.

Photo Credit: Drowning Man

Aimee Mann
Save Me
Bachelor No. 2 or, the Last Remains of the Dodo

AFK. Just to make things clear, I’m still on hiatus. There are a few things I still need to finish before I can fully commit to this page again. I realize that my last post, if anything, was a bit vague on the issue and so I wanted to write a quasi-epilogue to explain. In the meantime, I hope you guys like the spanking new layout. I had a blast making it.


  1. Ayan kasi, kung saan saan nakatingin habang naglalakad, na-shoot tuloy sa manhole! Ingat ka friend! Bwahihihi.

  2. bilib tagalaga ako sayo. ang bilis mo mag-comment! haha wag ka magulo, nage-edit pa ako. haha

  3. thanks, LOF! i appreciate it. :D

  4. sigh.... buti nga sa manhole ka nalunod... eh kung sa dagat ng ipis? bwahahahahaha

    see you soon baby boy.... ")

  5. hayan may pantalo na ng jingle ni villar.

    nalunod ka na ba sa burak ng kalsada. hihihi. :D

  6. It was just, again, a nice from Nyl. Keep them coming.

  7. All in due time sir, all in due time.

    Let the city that has broken your spirit, in its meandering alleys and hurried rush hours, amidst smoke and debris and hubris and apathy, find you again reborn. Like the phoenix, yet arising from frigid depths of a pallid sea of barren waste. Into oneself. Whole and refreshed.

  8. Beautifully written.
    And cant agree more, there is always MORE to everything. Mga bobo lang ang nabobored sa buhay na to. Ü

  9. @YJ: I shudder at the thought. Yuck!

    @Andy: I-pitch ko nga. Pano ba magpa-appointment?

    @Vher: Thanks for reading. Sorry ha, tagal na ako di nagb-bloghop.

    @Red: Ang deep mo naman! Parang nahiya ako sa shallow metaphors ko. :-S

    @Chyng: You should know. Inggit na inggit nga ako sa mga beach experiences mo. You really make the most out of each day.

  10. Palagay ko tatlong bote lang ng Red Horse ang kailangan -- then, fixed ka na. The Pulse is back. Hallelujah. Missed you.

  11. I like the new layout. You still on hiatus ng lagay na yan, ah?

  12. ewww...gross yan ah...heh..glad your safe...

    btw, i like your blog...a fan..ehehhe

  13. at least hindi sa dagat ng basura. hahaha.
    layout's dope btw. so citrus-y. :D

  14. @Peter: Thanks! That's so sweet of you. Beer and I had a mini-reunion last night. I don't remember a lot of last night but I think I had fun. lol

    @Dagger Deeds: Yeah. haha now that I'm not writing as much, I just have all this pent up energy.

    @MJ: Thanks! Welcome, twitter friend! :D

    @Yohan: Thanks, I had a blast making it. At napapansin ko dumadami yung Villar references.

  15. it all boils to one theory: survival of the fittest.

  16. @Geek: true true.. i guess i wasn't as fit as i thought.

    @Chuck: thanks! :D

  17. haha! jingle daw ni villar. O-M-G! last song syndrome nato! hahaha

  18. I love, love the new look of your blog. Fierce.

  19. @Sefi: This may help:

    Nakaligo ka na ba sa dagat ng basura?
    Nag-Pasko ka na ba sa gitna ng kalsada?
    Yan ang tanong namin…
    Tunay ka bang isa sa amin?

    Nalaman mo na bang mapapag-aral ka nya?
    Tutulungan tayo para magkatrabaho?
    At kanyang plano’y magkabahay tayo?

    Si Villar ang tunay na mahirap.
    si Villar ang tunay na may malasakit.
    Si Villar ang may kakayahan
    At gumawa ng sariling pangalan.

    Si Manny Villar ang magtatapos
    ng ating kahirapan.

    @Andy: Thanks! It just keeps freezing up my damn work computer. Anyone experiencing the same problem?

  20. walang kinalaman ito sa blogpost mo...

    YAAAAYYYY!!! ok na blogspot dito sa office!



  21. oo nga eh! haha aylahvet! kahit si tricia ng goal, natuwa. hehe

    next stop, facebook! haha well, we can dream right.

  22. Offtopic' gusto ko bilhin yung butterfly album mo' hehe : D

  23. i once saw a copy sa flea market. i wanted to get it kasi my copy's uber scratched na. lol

  24. ngayon lang nakavisit ulit dito... like the new look... artsy.

  25. pansin ko nga eh. hehe busy?

    salamat sa pagdaan. :D

  26. ang ganda masyado ako natangay how u lead us to that event, as if andun kami isa sa mga "usi" hehe galinggggg

  27. winner! nakakaloka. you have this amazing ability to read stories behind even the most mundane things. ka-aliw blog mo. ^^

  28. @Mac: salamat sa pakiki-usi. I appreciate it. :D

    @Mike: thanks. tagal na rin nating blog buddies no?

  29. nagyon lang ata ako napadpad sa page mo.. i like it po :P tsk tsk sa lahat naman sa manhole pa...

  30. maraming salamat sa pag-daan. hehe

  31. Well that was really engaging. :) I hope you sort out your issues.:D

  32. I almost drowned when I was a child. I jumped in a pool too deep for me. Luckily, someone was close by. If it's not for that person, I would've been a goner by then, hehe