interlude: ambivalence

Susanna: I'm ambivalent. In fact, that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna: I don't care.
Dr. Wick: If it's your favourite word, I would've...
Susanna: It means "I don't care." That's what it means.
Dr. Wick: On the contrary, Susanna. Ambivalence suggests strong feelings in opposition. The prefix, as in ambidextrous... means 'both.' The rest of it, in Latin, means vigor. The word suggests that you are torn... between two opposing courses of action.
Susanna: Will I stay or will I go?
Dr. Wick: Am I sane or am I crazy?
Susanna: Those aren't courses of action.
Dr. Wick: They can be, dear, for some.
Susanna: Well, then, it's the wrong word.
Dr. Wick: No. I think it's perfect.

[Susanna Kaysen & Dr. Sonia Wick, Girl, Interrupted]

Gnarls Barkley
St. Elsewhere


  1. yeah, i think so. well, i'm not really sure. perhaps i'm ambivalent about ambivalence. haha

  2. I think it's okay to be ambivalent. Ambivalence is the new cool. :)

    Haven't seen Girl, Interrupted yet, but I heard the cast is superb: Angelina Jolie, Brittany Murphy, Vanessa Redgrave, and Mr. Hot Shot, Jared Leto.

    I love Vanessa! And, of course, Brittany. I adore her in Clueless, hehe.

  3. you haven't seen it? i'm amazed. you watch a lot of movies kasi. hehe

    it's a shame about brittany murphy. i kinda felt sad after watching the movie.

  4. at dahil jan .. i'm feeling ambivalent today ... lav! lav! lav!

  5. Yup, haven't seen it in its entirety. I've only seen snippets on HBO. Angelina Jolie really looked deranged in that film. Check out her hair, hehe.

  6. @bernadette ~ nice no? haha

    @andy ~ fave movie ko siya when i was growing up. haha before i discovered wong kar wai.

    @petiburges ~ sorry naman. sige, enable ko.

  7. I'm fond of ambivalence as well, especially in writing. The multiplicity of meanings, emotions, I feel, makes the documentation of experience more raw, accurate.

    I've been wanting to watch the film too, for the longest time now. :)

  8. you should see it. it's very nice.

    as for ambivalence in writing, i totally agree. although it's pretty hard to do plus there's always that nagging thought that your readers won't understand anyway but whatever right? ambivalence is fun.

  9. I will. Soon. :)

    That consideration, i.e., the possibility of understanding, has always been a consideration. I firmly believe that we write for others.

    This lead me to the idea that I don't really own my words, and I must not be fearful of using them, if they feel right. I can't really predict what other people will think. Sometimes, people also see aspects of what I've written that I haven't initially considered.

    My whole point being is I have this resolve to let things be, to let down my guards when writing, to expose my inconsistencies, my meandering path towards meaning. People will eventually pick out meaning from what I have written.

    Hope I make sense. And hope you're feeling better.

  10. yes, you made perfect sense.

    i wish i could be as brave. lately my posts have become anesthetized (is that a word?) and i'm guessing it's because i don't really have full grasp of my words.

  11. Makahanap nga ng DVD ng Girl Interrupted

  12. dali! takbo na sa suking tindahan este pirata. hehe

  13. ambivalence...



    patakbo nako sa suking pirata!

  14. haha tama yan! feeling ko makakarelate ka ng slight. i;m not saying you're crazy, ha. basta panoorin mo. you'll see what i mean.

  15. I'm actually shocked that there are still people who haven't watched Girl, Interrupted.

    Strong, solid cast. The movie also marked the eclipse of Winona Ryder and the rise of Jolie.

    As for your ambivalence, Nyl - I hope whatever's vexing you may come to a resolution soon.

    P.S> I love you for loving Wong Kar-Wai. The lushness of his simplicity, the layered emptiness of his characters, the profound despair beneath those beautiful facades.

    *digs up In The Mood For Love.

  16. "I hope whatever's vexing you may come to a resolution soon."

    it just did, rudeboy. ang sakit pala.

  17. ambivalent is now my new favorite word, hehe. btw, i heart winona ryder. underneath it all.

  18. stinatus message ko yan. kaso nga, wala na akong right na i-claim yun. i chose my side na eh.

  19. so yung sayo gradual pala... ako friend biglaan.... hindi man lang ako nagkaroon ng chance mafeel kung pano maging ambivalent.... :(

  20. sa totoo lang, di ko alam kung anong mas masakit. ang alam ko lang, masakit pareho. haay friend.

  21. weird. winona is a favorite actress of mine pero i have not seen, no, i refuse to see girl interrupted. bakit kaya?

  22. you should see it. i'm not a big fan but i really like her performance in girl, interrupted. u should see it. :D

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