Saturday, October 11, 2008

what a wonderful world

I woke up today after just four hours of sleep. The heat was getting to me. Is it just me or is it unusually hot today? As I write this, I've probably had about a pitcher of water. But it's all good because today is my rest day.

It's funny how I used to be so restless on my rest days. I couldn't wait to get out of the house or if I couldn't, I'd find something else to do at home. After eating lunch today, I went back up, listened to some new downloads and tried to win over the heat with my mind. Mind over matter, right? Aside from the heat, everything was so peaceful.

And then it happened. Thoughts started to emerge. They threatened to drown out The Ting Tings and Rachael Yamagata. I cranked up the volume and when that didn't work, I picked up an old book.

Perhaps it's because I haven't really had a moment to think much this week. Before you think I'm an idiot, let me clarify that most of my major life decisions this week have been "coffee or cream based?" or "this shirt or that one?". I've been in such a hurry to go to work and go to class and go back home that I totally forgot that I was living a life. But I'm digressing.

I picked up an old book. I bought it about two years ago in a second hand book store in Cubao. I suppose I should add that the book chose me. It screamed my name as I walked past its aisle and I fell in love with it right away. It's got these Zen sayings that makes a lot of sense and provokes a lot of thought.
What started as a derision turned out to be the solution to my problems. Cheesy as it may sound, I actually needed this silly book to sort out my many dormant feelings. Allow me to share a few.
  1. If, in the future, a snake is going to bite you, it is unavoidable. Admit it. We spend a lot of effort stressing out on what we need to do or what people think about us. If you're at all like me, this often gets blown out of proportion. Although I hardly believe that everything is random, I have faith that everything happens for a reason.
  2. If there is a part of your life that you don't want, don't live it. When I first read this, I actually thought the word it referred to life and not part of your life so I thought it was advocating suicide but when I read it again and let it settle this time, I realized this- we do a lot of unnecessary things each day to please people we don't even like. To make things easier, let's cut out the complications. I've survived twenty-two years without being specious, I suppose I can manage a couple years more.
  3. If you wait long enough, suddenly nothing will happen. This one's pretty self-explanatory but I included it here because this aphorism completely epitomizes my concept of peace. Peace is that moment when everything is so quiet and you realize that nothing, absolutely nothing is happening.
  4. Make sure your enemies think more about you than you do about them. Although I must say that it sucks when some people don't really like you, I suppose it's only fair that you not fight fire with fire. And how do you stop retaliation? By blatantly ignoring things that you know will irritate you. Out of sight, out of mind. (enter Kelly Clarkson: yeah yeah since you've been gone!)
  5. Above all your skills and weapons, your enemy fears your courage most. There's a Filipino saying that roughly translates to this thought- people who are victimized often allow themselves to be. A little tough for those who have been victims of violent crimes but let's not digress again. It's like that old cartoon with the bear and the heart. I needed to find my heart to be a strong old bear.
  6. Never be angry with something that can't get angry with you. Most fights start with second (or often third) hand information. I've said in a previous post that I could be "mad at what the person was doing and not at the person himself?" Seek out proof before getting into anything serious and never be angry at someone who isn't even there to fend for himself.
  7. We think we are being interesting to others when we are being interesting to ourselves. Some people like the sound of their own voice. I, too, have been guilty of this. There are days when you feel like you're the bee's knees. But then again, the world has a world of opinions and although it may seem like you've just come up with the greatest invention ever, you could be just reinventing the wheel.
  8. Anger is seen as a weapon by the coward. Anger doesn't solve anything. If I really wanted to fix the things in my life, I suppose it would be best to let some really old baggage go.
  9. Loneliness is never cured by people. Although we may be lonely when people leave, it doesn't work inversely. When you're sad, you could make friends with the howhywurrr but it wouldn't really do shit if you're lonely for a reason. I've been lonely but rarely have I walked away from the situation without learning something new.
  10. (and my favorite) Success must be used immediately. I'm living my dreams and nothing (or no one) will keep me from it. (evil laughter)
So that's just me. In a few minutes, I'm off to see Eagle Eye (is it just me or am I the last person to see this?) and after writing this, I feel loads better.

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