existence
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Steven: How does a person who doesn’t exist go on existing? The answer is, he doesn’t.
[Steven Russell and Phillip Morris, I Love You, Phillip Morris]
Can love define who you are? Or is it something you need to figure out on your own before you can truly love?
♫: Garbage | Nobody Loves You (2001)
I have been defined by love, but really only redefined.
ReplyDelete@She Writes: I think it's just scary. Like what happens if it doesn't work out. How do you know who you are when the person who defined you leaves?
ReplyDeleteU cannot give what u don't have. So I think a person must figure it out first or define himself first before he can truly love. Although along the way there will be a very good someone who will be willing to help and sacrifice to his own time to do it with u.
ReplyDeleteFound mine... Hope he stay with me forever...
JJRod'z
@JJ: How sweet! :) Yes, we all wish the best for you two. Thanks for dropping by! :)
ReplyDeleteParang there's a thin red line & it's so hard where to draw it. For me, I don't know.. I guess not really define but just bring out the best you. I'm aware also that some people learn by example. Ex: How can 1 learn forgiveness if that person's doesn't experience being forgiven?.. So many things to consider but all I'm sure of is that love should be a positive feeling most of the time despite the roller coaster feeling. It should always bring out the best in you. =)
ReplyDelete@Tricia: I guess it's a little bit of both no? I mean, how can someone bring out the best in you kung na-reach mo na yun on your own. At the same time, kung sobrang undefined ka naman, mahihirapan din yung partner mo.
ReplyDeletehmm.. good thoughts. ;p
I think love can help you define who you are, but it is not what defines you. I also believe that love has more chances to last when you have figured out who you are, at least in the essentials. Or rather, when you have learned to understand yourself better. After all, we are continuously evolving.
ReplyDeletesomehow, after a day that is made out of routine, i started to go philosophizing again. :)
ReplyDeletelemme digress a bit: i think love is overrated. hahaha
ReplyDeleteyes.....
ReplyDeleteLove defines who we are. When we start to love, we go with its complications -- working it on our own ways, acting on how we understand how it means/should be. Do I make sense? I think I'm just in love. lol
ReplyDeleteLove. Blah. Somebody said, no, worded my opinion better than I can, so allow me to quote her instead:
ReplyDeleteMy druid told me that the real reason we embark on relationships is to discover things about ourselves that we wouldn’t have discovered on our own. Think about that the next time you complain that you gave everything or did all the work. --nJessica Zafra
This was true to the letter.
Muahness from Pasig Cirehhh!
for me... it's the latter. ahihi. :)
ReplyDelete@Beliza: Very well said. I guess the peril lies in the moment when we lose our balance, when you start building your life around somebody only to have that person shatter you in the end. But I suppose it's a good lesson to learn. One that hurts but is essential too.
ReplyDelete@Ester: Doesn't it feel good? lol
@^travis: Jaded, perhaps? It's very Dina B. in Temptation Island. lol
@LOF: And the extended ellipsis makes me feel like perhaps there's more to what you're saying. haha
@Green Breaker: But what if you have different ideas with the one you love? I'm always the logical one, the one who questions before he believes. I don't know. I want to love like I did when I was younger. (shet, emo alert. stopping. now.)
@Momel: Jessica, the eternal beacon of hope. Damn these lessons. Must they sting so much?
@Nimmy: Uy! Welcome back! You have the goods to back it up! Lagpas two years na kayo ni Leo right? Congrats!! :)
Do they have to be divided by those two questions, Nyl? Can they not go together in that lovely, melancholic, and serene shade of gray?
ReplyDeleteone's character is defined by one's own self. but what's the worth of defining yourself if the people around you cannot relate? so i think love, as with any other form of expression of one's self to others, requires your own self's definition and that of others definition of you. it should complEment.
ReplyDeleteLove is inherent to our being. Love defines everything, even hatred. We need not try to define it, for that requires us to assume its non-existence.
ReplyDeleteWe only need to live its dimensions through moments of our lives, and relative to the needs of ourselves and others.
Rick
@Spiral: Gray is lovely. It's strange and confusing. It should be bautiful but I hate it. haha I'm OC that way so shoot me. lolz
ReplyDelete@Pepe: complEment talaga? lol but how do you determine the balance? Can you honestly pick out the pieces and then decide which part goes where?
@Rick: Sorry, my logical side kicking in. I need to define it to appreciate it. But I'll take your comment to heart. I think I need to start feeling more than I think. ;p
I still haven't seen this movie. And no, I'm not yet sure if love can really define who we are.
ReplyDelete@Will: Wait, may pelikula palang di mo pa napapanood? haha Akala ko lahat napanood mo na. Peace ;p
ReplyDeleteit is very underrated that the reasons not to love are just as plenty as the number of reasons why we should.
ReplyDeletefall out.
@Alter: Well said din. haha For all the bullshit we put up with when it comes to finding love, lundag parin naman tayo ng lundag. I wonder if that's unique to our species or are there other creatures who are so obsessed with their own mortality, they must be coupled to survive.
ReplyDeletei was trying to draw out the /es/ sound and thought ..... was more appropriate for aesthetic reasons than adding more of the letter s, since the sound included the e. as in yes.......
ReplyDeleteI think it's a little of both.You come into love or a relationship with an idea of who you really are, but that's always going to change.
ReplyDeleteI guess that's okay, because we grow in relationships that way. But when it comes to the point where you have to keep changing to please the person and you forget who really are, and you're not sure who you even want to be, then I think it should stop.
You should never lose yourself to anyone, because if that person leaves it'll be pretty hard to get yourself back.
nyyyl, can i pls post the last paragraph in fb? pleaaaseeeeeeee!!!!
ReplyDeletelove is undefined. how can it define you when it's very nature is undefined?
ReplyDelete-yeah. you pro'ly shouldn't listen to my blahs. haha.
Darn, I need to watch this film. Kung kelan ko gusto mapanood, wala na akong makita sa mga davidee-davidee. :P
ReplyDeleteOne of the reasons why I don't want to be in a relationship right now is because I want to figure out who I am by myself. I don't want to be defined by being in a relationship.
ReplyDeleteThen again, aren't we always being changed by the relationships we have (both platonic and romantic)?
we are pleasure-seeking creatures after all. lol
ReplyDeleteI'm kinda lost.. pero par bang kanta ito ng airsupply
ReplyDelete"i really don't know how you do it..making love..making love out of nothing at all."
Don't let temporary love define who you are.
ReplyDeleteGood point! I don't. I never said I was emotionally healthy here ;)!
ReplyDelete@Prince: I guess it's fine as long as you know your limits. I met A through blogging so I'm not exactly one to preach against falling in love through the internet.
ReplyDelete@LOF: Ohhh.. so typically it would be yesssssssssssssssssss! haha
@RZ: I guess it's because everybody changes. We are never the same person. So with the added influence of a different person, you end up evolving into someone else when you fall in love.
But then we enter the eternal argument which has infiltrated KTV bars for decades. You've got to love me for what am for simply being meeee....
@Iya: Go large, mare!
@Rei: But your blahs are very interesting!!
@Andy: I just chanced upon a copy sa Makati Cinema Square. I wanted to see it when they showed the butchered version in Ayala Cinemas but di ko naabutan.
@Ela: True true. It's something LOF once shared with me. No man steps into the same river twice.
@Alter: And the struggle is just as deee-licious!
@Dave: Pwede pwede! haha Videoke na?
@Xall: But do we ever know that it's just temporary?
@She Writes: And that's what makes it fun, I suppose. ;p
the latter.
ReplyDelete@Kuyakoy: Hello sir! Welcome to my blog. Thank you for your input. :)
ReplyDeletehahah. you're the very first one to say that.
ReplyDeleteOne needs to define himself in order to love. He needs to present himself as "something" first--like a gift. Doing otherwise is selfishness.
ReplyDelete^Yes.
ReplyDeleteYou should be able to know who you are before you can really say you love someone. :)
@Rei: And I'm pretty sure I won't be the last. ;p
ReplyDelete@cosmicglitch: But what about those who cannot define themselves? :(
@purplebrightsummer: Hello! Welcome to my blog. :)
I guess I'm just wondering because even before I got to define who I was, I had already fallen countless times. haha Perhaps I was being selfish.
I believe in a lot of ambiguous, vague and dubious things. And I like my system the way it is.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you even need to figure out what love is, or to figure out who you are or who you are to know that you love. It's not a math equation.
Or. What I like about love, or the how, the who, the why of it is precisely its indeterminacy, its inexplicability.
I believe in doing it beyond my own understanding.
Saw this movie last week. And that line over there was the most touching and quotable.
ReplyDelete@Manech: How very sort of post-structuralist. I like that. But the last line tells me you are a delighted romantic.
ReplyDelete@Manech: Beyond your own understanding. I like that. It seems like something I would say. haha and that's why I love the Manech. ;p
ReplyDelete@K: Diba? Tumayo yung mga buhok ko sa batok when he said that. Plus the super thin Jim Carrey. Creepy.
That's why Sartre is too challenging. Lemme see . . . .
ReplyDelete@Peter: Once again, you had me googling. lol Ano ba ito?
ReplyDeletei'm wondering why i've never read you before. but now i'll keep coming back.
ReplyDeletesorry. we've been moving and clearing a forest in the process (literally)... no man ever steps into the same river once! that's mine! Heraclitus said: "You could not step twice into the same river; for other waters are ever flowing on to you." =P
ReplyDelete@Eon: Welcome to my blog! :) I've been silently reading you for a while now. Thanks for dropping by. ;p
ReplyDelete@LOF: Thanks for clearing that up. ;p I learned about Heraclitus from your old comment. lol
Clearing a forest? Is this for your new home? Lahvset!
oh yes. plato quoted him much better then! yes, and today gravity facilitated an 'encounter' for me with a group of lava rocks as i was trucking big sacks of cut up vines and tree branches down the hill. fortunately only my right side came into contact with the earth. and not like your recent fb pictures. lol
ReplyDeleteLove is not supposed to define who we are. We create it. It sparks within us. We define love.
ReplyDeleteYou never cease to amaze me ;) Nice structure lol ;D
ReplyDeleteYou never cease to amaze me ;) Nice structure lol ;D
ReplyDelete@LOF: oh my goodness! but then again, at least.. i call that a problemang-mayaman. who else would have a problem like that but someone who can afford to buy land? lol
ReplyDelete@Jaypee: Uy, long time no hear! hehe very well said. I think based on the responses I got in this post, nagkakahulma na yung next three ko. Salamat!
@Jules: Isa pa! Long time no hear din. :) May pinatatamaan ka ba diyan sa comment mo? ;p