the universe sends me messages

Disclaimer: This is a departure from my usual emo-ridden posts. I woke up a few days ago and found a pimple the size of Tahiti on my forehead. Since then, it has slowly invaded my brain and other vital organs. My pimple has a mind of its own, with thoughts it wants to express on this page.



The universe sends me messages. Not on my cellphone or through the mail but through a more subtle medium. There’s no need to get scared. It’s completely normal. It’s more of a fifth sense rather than a strange trait inherited from generations of inbreeding so there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. Anyway, I’m getting waaaay ahead of myself.

So… the story begins. Last night, I heard from a friend-slash-ex-colleague who was raving about how green the grass was on the other side. She told me about a great opportunity at her present company. If I joined her, I would still be in the training department but would have less work for more pay. Who wouldn’t jump on such a fantastic offer, right? I was at home when she texted and so I told her I would email my application first thing in the morning. Like most model employees, my most updated résumé was created and stored in my work computer.

Universe Message #1: The next day, work was super crazy. Two trainers were absent and we had to have all hands on deck. I couldn’t work on my application! I was in class the whoooole day. I couldn’t take a dump or pick my nose or bloghop like I always do on regular days. I was dead tired by the time my class ended. After work, I told my friend that I would email my application as soon as I got home.

But then American Idol was on. Damn it, why does this show have to be so damn addictive?

Universe Message #2: After dinner, I took my last P100 bill from my wallet to buy wireless broadband credit. The universe sent me my second message. When I was trying to connect to the internet, my USB modem thing didn’t want to work. It just kept flashing and when I touched it, it was really, really hot. I didn’t want to burn my laptop so I just unplugged the device and tried to troubleshoot. A few hours later, I was on the phone with a highly incompetent representative who basically told me that there was a big problem with my device. A big problem!

*clap clap clap* Amazing! Who wouldn’t want a recap of the last three hours of your own life? If I didn’t know that, I wouldn’t be calling you. She told me to call back in 24 hours if it was still acting up. I guess Sheena Easton was right. Time does heal all wounds, even the technological kind.

I gave up on the higly incompetent representative and decided to call my friend instead. I needed to tell her about the universe and how it was conspiring against me and my application. As I was dialing her number, I realized my cellphone was a little hot. I think it’s because I’m hot I had been on the phone with that amazing representative for a couple millennia. I went through my things to find my earphones but it was nowhere to be found. That set me up for my third and last message of the day.

Universe Message #3: As I was looking for that stupid accessory, I found a mysterious wooden instrument. It took me some time but I soon recognized it from five years ago. It was before I got into this industry, this life, this whole craziness. It’s a wooden percussion instrument (whose name escapes me now) that I imagine natives use to play songs and stuff. I put it in my mouth and started playing. Each pluck produced a springy, throbbing sound. ♪♫ boing boing boing boing boing… ♫♪ If I inhaled while I plucked, it produced a dull, throbbing sound. ♪♫ BOING BOING BOING BOING BOING… ♫♪

So what, pray tell is the universe trying to tell me? It’s very simple. To the naked mind, the first two messages convey a huge stop sign. I shouldn’t leave my secure job. I shouldn’t venture into the unknown. The new company has nothing good to give me. I should stay loyal to the company that gave me my break. But then I got my third sign and it put everything in perspective.

It’s time to leave everything behind and focus on my music. What do you think?

Photo Credit: kipas.nl

	Nick Dreamer Bad Romance ► hitmanbreakeroftheye