Three years ago, I slowly started to gain weight. Then the pounds came rolling in. And then they wouldn't stop. I ended the year at 135 and stopped counting from then on.
Today, I'm at a hundred-something. That's my answer if anybody asks. It's not that I'm M.O. or anything. I just like to eat. I like how with food you get all these different sensations- texture, flavor, smell, anything and everything about food just makes me feel so alive.. and so hungry.
In mundane moments, I find myself entertaining the thought of dieting again. The wonderful cure-all for fattyfoofoos. Eat less, weigh less. Hmm.. maybe not. It's on those days when I subconsciously forgo shaving so that no one will notice that extra chin. Or when I've gone through tons of shirts to find one that doesn't make me look like a dumpling.
It's funny to look back now and see what I once was and what I am now. I haven't completely withdrawn from sanity. I try to walk to and from work as much as I can. I also try to eat healthy food as much as I can but there are days and moments (like today!!!) when I start to wonder how I went from Sky Flakes to this: (ladies and gentlemen, my tabatsoooy moments)
- a bottle of VitWater (to convince myself that l-carnitine works without exercise)
- a chicken sandwich from mister donut (na-curious ako kasi it looked good. plus chicken's healthy naman diba? and may veggies pa yun)
- Grape soda (to go with the sandwich. At least may parts parin na fruit)
- A 22oz Fruitas mango shake (it's fruit and it's got milk so maganda yan! healthing healthy!)
- Egg rolls (which I found in the house. Snack lang. Nakakapagod magdiet! Kailangan ng reward)
- Lunch time na! Seafood platter from the GCMA concessionaire (seafood siya so at least slightly healthy parin. never mind na imitation crab meat is made of mystery meat.)
- California Maki (kasi bitin yung seafood platter! Dessert siya at konti lang naman yung roe. Plus the wasabi will be good for my cold (?))
- (more) grape soda. I never really paid much attention to the Coke machine at work but the thought of more grape soda seemed so yummy at that time.
- (more) Egg rolls. Gotta finish the box. Sayan naman diba?
- (and the winner is...) Lechon + Tofu (weird tokwa't baboy mix) from the concessionaire nanaman. While getting coffee with Chama, we passed the food people and the porky parts were screaming my name. It took me a long time to decide if I wanted some pero in the end, *sigh*
- (segue to me walking home promising myself di na ako kakain when... tada!!!) tortang talong for dinner!!! with afritada!!! *sobs* a few spoonfuls.
- (but wait, there's more!!!) two twix bars and a glass of coke (for the energy to write this down)
Must... stop... eating...