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I don't look a thing like Jesus but I talk like a gentleman.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

it's all happening!

<- Paparazzi put my bizness in the news!

So my battle with the razor ended this morning. For days, I've avoided shaving in an inane effort to look slightly older. This morning, while eating pancakes I realized this silly scraggly beard was taking all the pancake syrup and so I knew it had to go. With my new haircut, I just realized, I now look like I did about two years ago. Looking in the mirror hearkens to those olden days. Speaking of olden days, I got such a shock after finding my fotome greatest hits collection. It's basically a sample of what I looked like and how far I've come. The oldest one was taken for my UPCAT application about five or six years ago. I looked soooo greasy had this gross double chin that looked so insane. hahaha (no, I will not be posting it. are u crazy??)

There's a line in Almost Famous that all the characters (at one point or another) say. It's all happening! A declaration that finally, all your plans are coming true. Watching the movie about seven years ago, I couldn't really say I understood the freedom that comes with that line. It's almost like with each word in this three word sentence, you fill the spaces on the dotted line. It's all happening. IT'S ALL HAPPENING!!!

I woke up early this morning to an anonymous text. Happy anniversary, it said to Chase's Wave 10. I knew it was around this time last year that I started at Chase. I just didn't expect it to creep up at 3 in the morning. After sending a sleepy "who's this?" I went back to sleep. I though to myself, goodness me, I took calls for three days shy of a year. It feels good, knowing I went through all that especially now that I can finally say no more calls for me!

I got the job. I'm a trainer now!!! hurrah!!! It's funny. It's been days since I found out. I just found it a little hard to write down everything that I want. I'm afraid I'll forget a detail and then the whole story will lose it's credibility. Ha ha Lord knows I haven't written in ages.

I remember my initial interview. There was a question he asked that I had to take a moment to answer. We were talking about my teaching experience and he asked why I didn't become a real teacher. I told him the usual story. I didn't really want to become a teacher. I grew into it and started to really dig it a few years later. Then when I graduated, I knew I had to help my family out somehow. I don't think that last part was fair though. We get by okay. Every one's employed and we don't starve and stuff and we all have our little frills here and there. But deep down, I knew (but didn't wanna say) that if I wanted to contribute substantially and buy things for myself (yadda yadda yadda) I would not make that kind of money teaching. When I started at Chase, my sister said that I didn't have to take calls for a living. I just wanted to. I remember feeling a little stinged after that but now I know she was right.

I learned a lot along the way. I rose, fell, got back up and for a while was just breezing through stuff. I've been called a lot of names, gotten into insane situations, but managed to pick out the good stuff and leave out the bad. And so as I searched through some old papers for a clue on the anonymous texter, I found he wasn't so anonymous after all. Should I thank him? Not really, the coal doesn't thank the fire. But it's grateful anyway.

And so here I am, three days shy of a year long career. I've had seven job offers, three bosses, two companies (jobs, accounts, and resignation letters) and I'm this much better. I met some of the best people ever (and some so-so ones too, don't ask). I learned that not everyone in call centers say "persennage" or drink coffee or smoke like chimneys or wear jackets or are extreeeeemely greedy. They're people too who eat, sleep, do stuff and most importantly, make a living. An honest living, if I may add and I wouldn't change my 362 days for anything. Well, maybe just a few things here and there hehe...

So finally, it's all happening!!! As this new chapter opens, I'm going to embrace it with super wide open arms and hold on to it until the next one opens for me.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

chang-ge


"welcome to pugnosedbabble... 243 Posts, last published on Sep 30, 2007"

Almost looks like something you'd see at a funeral. My blogs been calling out to me. Speak. Speak, nay Babbbbble...

Lately, I've been craving for change. Something big. Something that'll hit me right smack in the face. I've hit a groove. I have a routine. Sleep at 10. Wake up at 6. Go to work at 7. Log in at 8. Lunch at 12. Log out at 5:30. Taho at 6. Lather, rinse, repeat (if desired). Ugh, now i feel it slowly breaking. Like the first awkward lines at the top of a ripened egg. Yes, it's coming. I can almost taste it coming soon.

Most of life's been spent at the heels of some great parade that I hear but cannot see and this makes me wonder if I'll ever be a part of it. Sun's up and it's coming. The drums gain resonance. It's coming. Shut up it's coming.

I want change. I NEED change. It has to come. It just has to. Question is am I ready for it? Am I ready to chase this change until I no longer feel the thirst for it?

Yawn. Sleep. Itchy. Change the beddings first.