stupid oaf

i'm so stupid. i can't believe i waited to see this person (i've been sorta seeing) for an entire week only to arrive an hour early. of course, she wasn't there. why would she person be? everything about our meetings were spontaneous, sharing a mere smile (which could mean so much more if you're lonely) and nothing more. anyway, i only get to see her on tuesdays and silly me had to leave an hour early (i thought my class was at 9). now i have to wait another week. i feel like an idiot. i guess that proves that spontaneous things should never be rehearsed or anticipated. oh well, another lesson for me.

gawd, that made me sound so desperate. i'm not really. i guess it just felt good to have someone, some random stranger smile at you and to have that happen every tuesday was kinda cool. i don't know what i'm thinking. maybe it's these past few days of hurried lesson plans and getting sick from the rain. everything's a blur and i'm just waiting for things to slow doooooooooooooooooooown...