i feel like such an idiot. you know how they say "fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me." how many times will i submit myself to this embarassing feeling from people i used to hold in such high regard? time and time again, i say that i won't let myself be sucked into their presence. but the feelings of apathy start to peel away as i find myself sending yet another message to them. aaaargh... i hate me. i hate them. i hate me for hating them. why do i have so much hate in me?!
i'm glad that i feel this way. at least it shows that slowly, im starting to respect myself. the line between love and hate is very thin. if anything, this experience has shown me that.
on a lighter note, this experience has given me the power to produce several poems on my diary. when i'm not such a lazy fuckwit, i might actually post it here. it's english and ten million times better than 'tinta'.
i'm in some internet cafe near school. i don't know what the hell i'm doing here. i don't even play DOTA. hahaha. must be the company. :D