Friday, December 2, 2005

not another bad day

I'm having another bad day and it's crazy how i feel like no one's really willing to talk to me about it. It's like, i'm so easily dismissed as a happy person who doesn't have an edgy side but that couldn't be farther from the truth.

Pissed off because I finally understand why this girl in my school doesn't like my company. It's so pathetic okay. I was actually quite close with her at one point and then this guy came along and courted her. We used to ride home together all the time and she'd ask me what i thought about Guy. So i told her what i thought, at that time, honestly that he wasn't exactly the type i imagined her to be with and stuff. But i ultimately changed my mind when i got to know him more. I thought everything was peachy and when we weren't classmates anymore, i found out they finally became a couple.

There was a time that i liked her but that was only for a wee bit, until i realized how all the attention was starting to get to her. I found out that she told Guy I was saying bad stuff about him, delaying their "coupleness". It was as if i was saying bad stuff about him in purpose because supposedly, i wanted her for myself.

What a load of bullshit. First of all, y'all should see her. She's far from pretty, okay so I don't see where she's coming from. Second, she asked for MY PERSONAL OPINION okay and I don't wanna lie just to make things happen. If she really didn't want to hear it, she shouldn't have asked.

It makes so much sense now, how she's been kinda weird towards me. Guy, on the other hand has been super nice to me but all this came from his mouth so I'm guessing everything was just plasticity. I hate plastic people. I hate them.

And to think his little clique is so popular for being that kind of element.

I may be burning bridges as we speak. Let's hope they don't ever get to read this.

Second thing to bitch about is my stupid friends who are seeing a movie today. I must've texted them a million times from this morning to this afternoon and they weren't replying. When they did, they didn't answer important questions like can we move it to Robinson's so everything's more affordable and stuff like that. I just feel so unwanted today. I don't even want to look in the mirror.

I finished a story that I've been working on for a long time now. It's 11 pages long and I seem to like it. I wonder when I'll ever be published.

At the end of everything, there's only two beings you can trust and lean on, God foremost and yourself. Everyone just lets you down. I may look happy but believe me, I am not. I hope someday I'll understand why everything happened. Maybe someday, I'll understand why Girl thinks that way and why Guy acts like we're so close. Ugh. UGH!!! DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haaa.... I feel a little better. I hope this feeling continues.

On a lighter note, I'm almost finished with the Christmas wishlist. I only don't have 5 of those and 3 I already saw but didn't buy. See... the power of wishful thinking!

3 comments:

  1. haha! it must've been pretty hard on you.. well, who cares//


    -key-

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  2. you shouldn't care about what they say..they never help you out anyway..or better yet, pray for them!


    -key-

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  3. Yeah, it's all done now. I don't think I can pray for them but I was able to forgive. :)

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