Monday, March 21, 2005

the date from hell!

The antisocial king strikes again... this time, he boards the MV Walker Tenessee, a cruise ship that rears from Tackyville!

will his antosocial powers work on what promises to be THE night of the DLS Sorority social calendar! (you do know i'm being sarcastic, right?)

man, last night was totally weak. i had gone out on my first official "date", mind the quotes. i didn't bring dates to my high school ball(s? sounds phallic). it was my sister's birthday. she's 22 and i look older than her... go figure. one of her sorority sister's date backed out on the last minute and i reluctantly agreed to fill in... i dunno what came over me. i usually don't submit myself to such abject humiliation... a few hours later, i was thiiiiis close to throwing myself overboard. how deep is the manila bay?

the cruise was tacky as hell. it seemed like it was probably cool a couple of decades ago when shoulderpads and high waistlines were the height of sophistication. she (my date) was dull, smoked like a chimney and was really not my type but i was polite and quiet. both my legs were on different sides of the line that separates "mysterious" and "aloof". it seemed to work. nobody noticed me.

wait, i seem to have wandered too far into the story. let me tell you what i was wearing: for starters, i was wearing my hippy outfit... vintage baseball t-shirt with ratty jeans and my pair of reebok rubbers (not the sexual kind) from the states. i tried my best to look decent and prayed haplessly that the suit this mystery date was going to bring me was going to be at least half decent.

she comes with a hanger with an uber tacky "chinese collared" (i know what chinese collars look like and there was nothing chinese about last night's suit!) and a pair of sheik pants. the pants were divine, that i can say. i felt snug as a bug but the blazer made me look like some sheesy michael buble clone. to top it all of, you didn't hear me say anything about a polo, right? that's because there wasn't one! i had to wear my vintage baseball tee under the tacky blazer from hell! and as if things couldn't be worse, my blazer was about two sizes too big.

the band super sucked. bisaya!!! the female lead singer sang like she had a cookie in her mouth and a massive dildo shoved up her ass. it was so crazy. the guy lead singer was as gay as a day in may and it was so pathetic... they tried to sing "new" songs from two seasons ago... this love, my boo, milkshake, skater boy (yes, how horrible, right?)

but there were some redeaming factors... after the party we went to (is it baang or bang bang) coffee for...... well..... err... coffee! and some of pepper's dls friends were there. ria, gela (was it?), lia, fau, audi, lia's sister, and (gawd i hope i didn't forget anybody) were all cool. they weren't stuck up of feeling like the other folks. i especially enjoyed the company of the only guy there besides me, this guy with groovy hair named Pepe. he was reminiscent of patrick fugit in almost famous. he seemed nice, unlike the airy a-holes who were dates to most of the sorority sisters. i've heard about them before. pepper told me all about them when we watched el crimen del padre amaro (or was it after she watched y tu mama?). they have a son named gael after gael garcia bernal... fans of y tu mama apparently. well, you know how us artsy film folks like to stick together. i didn't talk about art films because that would be pretentious so i was quiet for the rest of the night, mostly laughing between sips of my caramel coffee... it was a night to remember... at least that part was. the part before... well, i'd best leave it to my subconsious to subdue.

2 comments:

  1. *laughs* watta way to spend the night.. hmn, do you have something against bisaya?


    -key-

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  2. Yeah, it was pretty crazy. No, I have nothing against them. My parents are bisaya. lol

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