__'s such an asshole. i've been too quiet about this. it's not right, nay not fair. stop antagonizing me, you freak. you're an immature buffoon who needs to grow up.

it all started this morning. i was already feeling vulnerable because of how ___, ___, and ___ were toying with me and ___ last night. they knew that we had ended everything but still, they continued teasing us. i was hopeful for about a second until i realized i wasn't kidding anybody. me and ___ are never going to be a couple. there's too many factors that stand in the way.

it's pathetic how i only have my blog to talk to. i'm out of place in my own major.

so i was outside, minding my own business when i see ___, ___, ___, ___, and ___ talking. call me crazy but i think they're planning to go out. i didn't mind it. for all i care, they could all go to hell (except for ___ and ___ who are both angels). it hurt me like hell, knowing that i will never be a part of anything to do with ___ because of ___.

and then after the christmas party, we ___ . i was so sure ___ so i said ___ just to be sure. i didn't tell ___ or anybody aside from ___ to go with my plan but suddenly everyone was there. ___ had his sulking face and he was saying stuff about what was happening and he didn't sound pleased. he was angry at me and ___ when i didn't ___. like i said, he could ___ and i wouldn't even flinch. if he ___ , i'd probably even smile but ___? no way. ___ him. i hope karmic retribution is real so that he'd finally understand what his actions mean.

i hate my life. i hate being played with. my heart is not a toy, okay. so she hugged me last night. that was an accident. so we wore the same thing. that was a coincidence. so what? so what if i still love her. it doesn't matter now. can somebody shoot me now?